Læs dagbog

Sitting here waiting, for everyone else to die..

Silverscreen's doing it's magic, keeping me at bay.. darkness outside, so thick, you could cut it to chunks... A car an hour, as the most exiting thing.. dreams.. I wonder if they'd ever take me anywhere, back then.. today, they didn't.. lost in forgiving, forgiven.. nothing.. shades of pure hollow acceptance.. stillness.. Nothing as far as the eye can see, and I'm poor and broke.

Two years ago, I still had faith - a small resonance of.. emotion.. today that.. view, to the living.. husk........... Zombie apocalypse.. do we need it? The dreams of going crazy, all for one, and one for all, when this.. shit, we call life, could be a hunting ground for each of us..?

Reminds me of this bloke, Sam.. he was a dog, the other guy listened.. gnawing bones.. wonder, there, if dear old Sam was content, being left, or if he, for the remainder of his existence felt, that.. something was missing..? Was it his owner, or the crushing virgin bones between his jaws...?

Life's so beautiful, when you feel like it, other days, like this one, you wanna break skulls, and watch them cave in.. - Out there, on the other side of this prison.. shit, even IN prisons, people are having the time of their lives - watching TV, movies, porn, each other, the mirrors, the windows, the hope, the despair.. but they GOT something.. if only misery..

Think I might have a GF.. sweet thing, wonderful - in possession of all the good, that a woman can hold.. - These days, she means nothing to me, like everything else - my emotional life is like walking around in a burning building - clouded view, alarms, burns and physical sense of heat - everything, that matters, is beyond the walls caving in, and there is no escape: my world is burning.

I wanted to travel, for the better part of the last ten years.. wanted to go somewhere, where the whores were cheap, the liquor abundant and the temperature agreeable - thought Greece for a long while; wanted to go there, to produce porn.. That doesn't matter now.. like everything else..

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